Poem Analysis:
Emily Dickinson’s poem “Trying to Forget” explores the painful experience of grief and the difficulty of escaping memories of loss. Through the metaphor of a grave that follows the speaker everywhere, Dickinson illustrates how deeply sorrow can affect the human mind and how difficult it is to forget someone who has died.
At the beginning of the poem, the speaker describes leaving home and traveling to a new place in an attempt to escape her grief. However, the journey does not bring relief. The statement “The grave preceded me” suggests that death and sorrow are already waiting for the speaker wherever she goes. The grave becomes a powerful symbol of the emotional burden she carries. Even in a new environment, she cannot escape the memory of her loss.
In the second stanza, Dickinson develops this idea by describing how the grave occupies the speaker’s lodging and even her bed. The image of the grave resting “Upon the pillow for my head” emphasizes the intimacy and permanence of grief. It is no longer something external but has become part of the speaker’s private life and consciousness. This suggests that sorrow affects not only her surroundings but also her ability to find comfort and peace.
The third stanza presents the speaker’s repeated attempts to escape her grief. She wakes up, walks away, and tries to lose the grave in a crowd or in the sea. These images symbolize her desire to find distraction and emotional freedom. Nevertheless, the grave continues to follow her. Dickinson uses personification by giving the grave the ability to move and follow the speaker, making grief seem like a living presence that cannot be abandoned.
In the final stanza, the speaker turns to “cups of artificial drowse” in an attempt to forget the painful memory through sleep or artificial comfort. However, the effort remains unsuccessful. The final lines, “The grave was finished, but the spade / Remained in memory,” offer the poem’s most significant insight. Although the physical grave has been completed, the memory of the process of loss remains. The spade symbolizes the lasting psychological effects of death, suggesting that even when the outward signs of mourning disappear, emotional pain can continue.
In terms of literary techniques, Dickinson uses symbolism, personification, imagery, and irony to communicate the persistence of grief. The grave represents death and sorrow, while the spade symbolizes the memory and emotional consequences of loss. The poem’s simple language and short stanzas contrast with the complexity of the speaker’s suffering. Its rhythm and punctuation also create pauses that reflect hesitation, emotional struggle, and the difficulty of expressing grief.
“Trying to Forget” presents grief as an unavoidable experience that cannot easily be escaped through travel, distraction, or artificial sleep. Dickinson suggests that physical distance does not necessarily create emotional distance from painful memories. Ultimately, the poem conveys a universal human truth: although time may change the circumstances surrounding a loss, the memory of that loss can remain deeply rooted in the human heart.